The Divorce Remedy: The Proven 7-Step Program for Saving Your Marriage by Michel

Description: The Divorce Remedy by Michele Weiner Davis, Michele Weiner-Davis Michele Weiner Davis goes beyond her marriage-saving bestseller, Divorce Busting, with this empowering and encouraging guide for revitalizing marriage and building stronger, more loving bonds. In a down-to-earth style that is free of psychobabble, Weiner Davis outlines a realistic, solution-oriente FORMAT Paperback LANGUAGE English CONDITION Brand New Publisher Description Michele Weiner-Davis offers an empowering and encouraging guide for revitalizing marriage and building stronger, more loving bonds. Michele Weiner-Davis goes beyond her marriage-saving bestseller, Divorce Busting, with this empowering and encouraging guide for revitalizing marriage and building stronger, more loving bonds. In a down-to-earth style that is free of psychobabble, Weiner-Davis outlines a realistic, solution-oriented seven-step program for managing marital problems, which, when left unchecked, can drain the life out of a relationship. Using revealing anecdotes and in-depth case studies, she illustrates practical ways for marriage partners to -avoid the "divorce trap" -identify specific marriage-saving goals -move beyond ineffective, hurtful ways of interacting -become an expert on "doing what works" -overcome infidelity, Internet obsessions, depression, sexual problems, and midlife crises -get your marriage back on track--and keep it there Rescue your marriage with the proven techniques of The Divorce Remedy--sound, sensible advice from a renowned relationship expert! Back Cover Turn Your Marriage Around-With Real Solutions From the Bestselling Author of Divorce Busting Michele Weiner Davis goes beyond her marriage-saving bestseller, Divorce Busting, with this empowering and encouraging guide for revitalizing marriage and building stronger, more loving bonds. In a down-to-earth style that is free of psychobabble, Weiner Davis outlines a realistic, solution-oriented seven-step program for managing marital problems, which, when left unchecked, can drain the life out of a relationship. Using revealing anecdotes and in-depth case studies, she illustrates practical ways for marriage partners to * avoid the "divorce trap" * identify specific marriage-saving goals * move beyond ineffective, hurtful ways of interacting * become an expert on "doing what works" * overcome infidelity, Internet obsessions, depression, sexual problems, and midlife crises * get your marriage back on track-and keep it there * Rescue your marriage with the proven techniques of The Divorce Remedy-sound, sensible advice from a renowned relationship expert! Author Biography Michele Weiner-Davis, MSW, is an internationally renowned relationship expert and author of several books including The Divorce Remedy, the bestselling Divorce Busting, A Womans Guide to Changing Her Man, Change Your Life and Everyone in It, and In Search of Solutions. She has appeared as a regular guest on Oprah, 48 Hours, The Today Show, CBS This Morning, and taped a seminar on PBS entitled Keeping Love Alive. A therapist in private practice specializing in Solution-Oriented Brief Therapy, her highly-acclaimed workshops have earned her national recognition. She lives in Illinois with her husband of over thirty years. Table of Contents Contents Introduction PART 1 THE DIVORCE TRAP The Not-So-Great Escape PART 2 SEVEN STEPS TO SAVING YOUR MARRIAGE Step Number One - Start with a Beginners Mind Step Number Two - Know What You Want Step Number Three - Ask for What You Want Step Number Four - Stop Going Down Cheeseless Tunnels Step Number Five - Experiment and Monitor Results Step Number Six - Take Stock Step Number Seven - Keeping the Positive Changes Going Pulling It All Together PART 3 COMMON DILEMMAS, UNIQUE SOLUTIONS Infidelity Dealing with the Depressed Spouse Surviving His Midlife Crisis Overcoming Passion Meltdown Expect the Impossible Selected Bibliography Index Review John Gray author of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus Weiner Davis provides a road map for finding your way back to a loving marriage.Pat Love author of The Truth about Love Poignant, powerful, practical, full of hope. Michele Weiner Davis lives up to her reputation as one of the foremost marriage educators of our culture. Long Description Michele Weiner Davis goes beyond her marriage-saving bestseller,Divorce Busting,with this empowering and encouraging guide for revitalizing marriage and building stronger, more loving bonds. In a down-to-earth style that is free of psychobabble, Weiner Davis outlines a realistic, solution-oriented seven-step program for managing marital problems, which, when left unchecked, can drain the life out of a relationship. Using revealing anecdotes and in-depth case studies, she illustrates practical ways for marriage partners to avoid the "divorce trap" identify specific marriage-saving goals move beyond ineffective, hurtful ways of interacting become an expert on "doing what works" overcome infidelity, Internet obsessions, depression, sexual problems, and midlife crises get your marriage back on track -- and keep it there Rescue your marriage with the proven techniques ofThe Divorce Remedy-- sound, sensible advice from a renowned relationship expert! Review Quote Pat Love author of The Truth about Love Poignant, powerful, practical, full of hope. Michele Weiner Davis lives up to her reputation as one of the foremost marriage educators of our culture. She informs, inspires and lovingly guides us to the promised land of love. Excerpt from Book Chapter One: The Not-So-Great Escape People who are unhappy in their marriages often speak of feeling trapped. They yearn to be free from the tension, loneliness, constant arguments, or deafening silence but worry that divorce may not be the right decision. After all, they took their marital vows seriously. Theyre not trying to hurt their spouses. They dont want to hurt their children. They panic at the thought of being alone. They worry about finances. They fear the unknown. Yet the idea of living in a loveless marriage starts to feel like a death sentence. Over time, many of these people slowly convince themselves that the benefits of leaving their marriages vastly outweigh the benefits of staying. They tell themselves, "Kids are resilient, theyll bounce back," or "In the long run, this will be better for everyone." Its not until they embark on the path to divorce and begin to piece their lives back together that they discover the real price they paid for their so-called "freedom." Regretfully, this painful discovery comes too late. They have fallen into the divorce trap. Dear Michele, I was married for eighteen years and we have three terrific children. I instigated a divorce. It was final six months ago. Now, I am having second thoughts. I never imagined that I would feel this way because, for years, I was so miserable in my marriage. I thought that once I got out, we all would be better off. At first, it was a relief to get away from all the arguing. However, I could not anticipate how quickly the feelings of relief would turn to pain. The look on my childrens faces when they talk to their dad on the phone or when they come back from weekend visits has been more than I can bear. What surprises me the most though is the fact that I find myself thinking about my ex all the time. He is far from perfect, but I now realize I could have made more of an effort to learn how to deal with the things that irritated or hurt me. Now I am haunted by the fact that my divorce destroyed not only a marriage but a family. Joan Dear Michele, I feel like a fool writing to you, but I dont know where else to turn. After twenty-four years of marriage, I told my wife I wanted a divorce. I had been pretty unhappy in our marriage for a long time. Our sex drives were totally incompatible. Whenever I approached her, she never seemed to be in the mood. At first I thought I was doing something wrong, but after a while I got sick of all of her excuses. Then I met a younger woman at work who respected me and seemed attracted to me. Although I never thought I would be the kind of guy who would have an affair, after spending hours together working on late night projects, the temptation just became too great. Although my wife suspected something, I kept my affair secret. Eventually, I realized I couldnt live this lie any longer, so I filed for divorce. My wife was devastated. She begged me to stay. She tried to explain away my feelings -- insisting that I was in the midst of a midlife crisis or that I was depressed. Still, I couldnt wait to get out on my own. I knew the kids would survive and I believed our marriage had died long ago. The divorce became final a year ago during which time I have made some painful discoveries. It didnt take long before I lost my infatuation with the other woman. I started missing my wife. But she has made a whole new life for herself and I am not part of it. dIf you have any suggestions, I will be forever grateful. Mark Mark and Joan are not alone. The divorce trap seduces over one million people each year. It promises peace and tranquility. It offers a fresh start, a second chance at romance, contentment, and self-discovery. It lures people into thinking that by walking out the door they can eliminate lifes seemingly insurmountable problems. When youre desperately unhappy, these so-called guarantees are hard to resist. But there are good reasons for doing so. If you or someone you love is contemplating divorce, you will want to know what I have learned about the truth about divorce. In my work, Ive had a birds eye view of what happens in peoples lives after divorce. I have seen the intense pain and despair that linger for years. I have seen times when every birthday, holiday, or other causes for celebration have been nothing more but painful reminders of a divorce. I have seen the triggering of unpredictable, hurtful events such as the total rejection by the children of the parent seeking the divorce. I have known children who, even many years after the divorce and their parents subsequent remarriages, still want to know if Mom and Dad will ever get back together. Now, after three decades of our social experiment with rampant divorce and disposable marriages, I know it isnt a matter of people keeping their marriages together because they can, its a matter of people making their marriages work because they should. Divorce stinks! Why? Recent findings about the long-term effects of divorce speak for themselves. Except in very extreme conflict-ridden families -- and most families do not fit this criterion -- children are better off when their parents stay married. Children are more likely to finish school and avoid problems such as teenage pregnancy, drug abuse, and delinquent behavior. Plus, they are more likely to have good marriages themselves. Even if a parent is happier as a result of divorce, there is no "trickle down effect." Children still struggle emotionally regardless of how the parent feels. Married men make better fathers. They are more likely to provide guidance, role modeling, and financial support. Marriage is good for most adults. As compared to single, widowed, or divorced people, married people are healthier, have better sex lives, engage in fewer high-risk activities such as substance abuse, live longer, and are happier! Depression is almost three times as prevalent in women who divorce once, and four times as prevalent in women who divorce twice than in women who have never divorced. A random sample of over 8,600 adults revealed the percentages of those who felt lonely. The results are as follows. Marital status and percent reporting loneliness: Married -- 4.6 Never Married -- 14.5 Divorced -- 20.4 Widowed -- 20.6 Separated -- 29.6 (Page and Cole) Those in healthy marriages tend to be better, more productive employees. Married men miss work less often. Divorce increases the cost of many public health and social service programs. Single-parent households often mean children are raised in poverty or on public aid. A single mothers standard of living almost always decreases significantly after divorce. As compared to 50 percent of first marriages that end in divorce, 60 percent of second marriages end in divorce. Many people considering divorce say they wish they could have a crystal ball that would allow them to see into the future. Actually, the crystal ball is here for the taking. Research has enabled us to be "clairvoyant." But many people choose to ignore or discount the facts because theyve been hoodwinked into believing that divorce provides answers to an unhappy marriage. But how are myths about divorce being perpetuated? The divorce trap is a powerful conspiracy that is invisible to the naked eye. Like carbon monoxide, the odorless killer, the divorce trap is an insidious influence, invading your thoughts without your knowing it. What are the forces behind the divorce trap? WELL-MEANING FRIENDS AND FAMILY Oddly enough, some of the people nearest and dearest to you are part of the problem. This is not to say that they dont have your best interests at heart. They do. They love you. They cant stand to see you in pain. More than anyone, they know you and know how much you deserve happiness in your life. Their caring is genuine. Why then do I say that your loved ones can be misdirecting you? The Biased Shoulder When you share your unhappiness with loved ones, what they hear is your side of the story, and your side only. Even though your feelings about your spouse and marriage are valid, they are, nonetheless, biased. Needless to say, if your spouse were in on the conversation, the story about your marriage would take a not-so-slight different turn. But the people who love you dont care about objectivity; they want you to feel better. Although this makes perfect sense, the end result is that the people in whom you are confiding offer potentially life-changing advice without a complete set of facts. If you follow that advice, you may create an even bigger rift in your marriage. Let me give you an example of how this works. Sue was miserable in her marriage; she felt that she and her husband, Jeff, had completely grown apart. Sue decided to talk to her sister, Ann, about her predicament. Sue told Ann that she was really upset about how things had changed in her marriage. When she and Jeff got married, she explained, they were crazy about each other. They did everything together, spent hours talking, weekends doing fun things, and sex was great. They were best friends. As Sue recalled these memories, she cried. Seeing Sue in such pain, her sisters heart went out to her. Ann asked Sue to tell her more about what had been troubling her. Through her tears, Sue filled in the blanks. She said that Jeff had t Details ISBN0684873257 Author Michele Weiner-Davis Short Title DIVORCE REMEDY Pages 320 Publisher Simon & Schuster Language English ISBN-10 0684873257 ISBN-13 9780684873251 Media Book Format Paperback DEWEY 306.81 Year 2002 Residence IL, US Subtitle The Proven 7-Step Program for Saving Your Marriage DOI 10.1604/9780684873251 Imprint Simon & Schuster Place of Publication New York Country of Publication United States AU Release Date 2002-09-04 NZ Release Date 2002-09-04 US Release Date 2002-09-04 UK Release Date 2002-09-04 Publication Date 2002-09-04 Audience General We've got this At The Nile, if you're looking for it, we've got it. 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