The Teen's Guide to World Domination: Advice on Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit o

Description: The Teen's Guide to World Domination by Josh Shipp Teen advice guru and motivational speaker Shipp delivers a hilarious, inspirational guide for the millennial generation that covers everything from broken self-esteem to family crisis to what to do after high school. FORMAT Paperback LANGUAGE English CONDITION Brand New Publisher Description Josh Shipp has been serving up a healthy dose of "advice with an attitude" to millions of teens for over a decade, in front of packed auditoriums across the country. For the first time ever, Josh is pulling together all of his unique advice for "world domination" into a must-have survival guide. Hilarious, inspirational, and authentic, Josh offers golden nuggets of wisdom for everything that has you freaking out (pretty much all the stuff you cant fathom addressing with Mom and Dad). So, summon your inner hero and learn to dominate the seven "villains" that are keeping you from awesomeness. GHOSTS: All your painful memories and bad mistakes, which are holding you back and causing self-doubt. Confront them once and for all NINJAS: Back-stabbing "friends" who earn your trust to fulfill their own agendas. Call them out and they wont stand a chance PIRATES: Bullies and bad boyfriends who take advantage of you. Write them off and tune them out ROBOTS: Well-intentioned but misguided grown-ups, who want to "program" you to be like them. Understand how parents, teachers, and counselors operate to improve your communication VAMPIRES: Negative influences and addictions, which draw you in and steal your identity. Regain your self-esteem before you get bit ZOMBIES: Chronic complainers who drag you down with their pessimism. The best zombie-repellant is gratitude! Learn that its not what happens to you, its how you respond PUPPIES: They seem all fun and innocent on the surface, but often blindside you with hidden consequences. Learn how to think smart about money, your hot girlfriend, and other temptations Author Biography Josh Shipp is a teen-advice guru and motivational speaker and host of the TV show Jump Shipp. Josh has earned an international reputation as a leading authority on teen communication thats "in your face, but on your side." Abandoned and abused as a child and raised in a dozen different foster homes, Josh has taken his past of hurt and neglect, turned it around, and used it as a catalyst for helping others. Seen on MTV, CNN, NBC, FOX, and Comedy Central, and featured in the Los Angeles Times and Inc. magazines "30 Under 30: Americas Coolest Young Entrepreneurs," his inspiring personal story and life-changing message has reached more than a million teens...and counting. Review "Two standing ovations and an encore." --Georgetown University "Our generation doesnt have a Dear Abby, but we do have a Hey, Josh." --CNNs Young People Who Rock "Hes like the Dr. Phil for teens." --FOX Review Quote Two standing ovations and an encore. - Georgetown University "Our generation doesnt have a "Dear Abby but we do have a Hey, Josh."- CNNs Young People Who Rock "Hes like the Dr. Phil for teens."- FOX Excerpt from Book Part 1 FUNDAMENTALS of WORLD DOMINATION 1. Total World Domination = Epic Fail // Lets face it: Total world domination never works. (OK, youre probably confused. Maybe youre wondering if youre actually reading the right book. You probably read the title and picked it up thinking world domination sounded like a pretty good idea, but then you opened it up and-what the … ?-the title of the first part seems to contradict the title of the book! Yes, I am tricksy. What were you expecting? This aint no textbook. We need to understand each other before we go any further: I operate in one way and one way only-always in your face, but on your side. Copy? OK, so, lets clear the air. You are asking, "Josh, are you actually contradicting the title of your book in the first paragraph?" Yes, I am. Onward …) When I was just a little boy wonder, there was this cartoon called Animaniacs. You probably dont remember it, but the show featured a recurring segment called "Pinky and the Brain" about two genetically enhanced lab mice: Pinky, an idiot, and Brain, a diabolical genius much like yourself. Every episode began with these two lines of dialogue: Pinky: Gee, Brain, what are we going to do tonight? Brain: The same thing we do every night, Pinky: Try to take over the world! And try they did. Using all manner of cunning schemes and high-tech absurdities, Brain-with often disastrous "help" from Pinky-would mastermind a plan for total world domination. It wasnt just "Pinky and the Brain." Every show I grew up on, from Care Bears (did I just admit to watching Care Bears?) to Masters of the Universe (much more manly) to Transformers, had a villain trying to subjugate the other characters. (Confession: I dont even know what "subjugate" means, but my book editor told me not to talk down to teens and to challenge them with big words. Well, I have challenged myself and failed. I am crying right now.) These villains went by names like Professor Coldheart, Skeletor, Megatron, and Monty Burns. They often emitted evil, cackling laughs. They nearly all had henchmen, and sometimes they had mustaches … which stirred up jealousy in me due to my complete inability to grow facial hair, even to this day. Tear. Fast-forward to today: Dark wizard Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters terrorize humanity in the Harry Potter series; the merciless Volturi cause trouble for Bella in the Twilight saga; and, after all these years, Decepticon overlord Megatron is still bent on destroying Earth and everyone on it. All of these villains-and every villain from our books to the big screen-are after the same thing: Absolute power, complete control, and total world domination. But power-hungry villains arent just the stuff of fiction. In fact, the villains quest for world domination is a classic case of art imitating life. When I was in school, the only homework my foster parents could ever force my ADD brain to focus on was history, particularly the stories about real-world dudes who built vast empires-like the Egyptian pharaohs, Xerxes I, and countless other emperors, kings, queens, warlords, generals, and dictators. Let me tell you, actual history is really just a big soap opera of crazy people trying to take over the world. But heres what I discovered. These historical figures-from Hitler to Napoléon to Genghis Khan to Alexander the Great-all had one thing in common: (Actually, they had a lot in common-egos the size of Texas, an insatiable thirst for power and wealth, a common serial killers disregard for human life-but Im talking about besides that.) None of them ever succeeded. Thats right, not one. Sure, they had people running scared for a while, and some of these guys conquered huge chunks of territory. But no matter how big their army, how prosperous their economy, how abundant their resources, how advanced their technology, how brilliant their devious plan, or how epically bushy their facial hair (Im looking at you, Genghis) … they could never quite pull it off. Their empires always crumbled. To this day, no one has been able to take over the entire world-not in cartoons, not in books, not in movies, and definitely not in history! // Yet the villains keep trying Despite the dismal track record of ambitious tyrants whove tried and died before them, modern-day villains remain fascinated by and fixated on their personal quests for world domination. Ancient rulers tried to conquer the world in search of mythical items like the fountain of youth, gold (btw, whats with all those gold-bar infomercials on TV after 2 A.M.), or ultimate glory. But these days, its usually about political power, natural resources, weapons, and cold hard cash. It seems that everyone is looking for that magical force or item that will allow them to control everyone else or give them a leg up in the race of world domination. Fortunately, the vast majority of these selfish and destructive individuals wont become rulers of nations or commanders of armies. But, something you need to understand is that it doesnt take an army, a giant moon-laser, or a mustache to try to control others lives. Would-be villains are still out to dominate other peoples worlds every day, and Im not just talking about national security or terrorist threats. Lean in for this one: Your world is under attack by an assortment of villains right here and right now. Im serious! Through manipulation and physical strength or through passive-aggressiveness and psychological warfare, there are villains in your life today trying to control your world for their own gain. Let me be clear to make sure you heard me. The villains are real and they are coming for you. But if you dont believe me, this book isnt going to make any sense to you and youre not going to last. In fact, there may be villains among us right now, even reading this book. Are you a villain? Are you? Huh? Dont look away from the page-Im not kidding, here. Think about it, you DID pick up a book called The Teens Guide to World Domination! YOU might actually be a villain trying to control others lives for your own gain. But lets be honest, I dont entirely blame you: World domination does have a certain appeal, doesnt it? Even to noble citizens like us. Sure, people like you and me probably dont really aspire to overthrow governments or create secret lairs guarded by sharks with lasers on their heads in order to bring small nations to their knees while our merciless conquest is broadcast live on CNN with Larry King (the emperor of suspenders). In my experience, most people dont want to do that. Most people arent psychotic megalomaniacs. (Ooh … "megalomaniac"! Hows that for challenging teens? I think it means either a crazy person or something about breeding giant LEGO blocks; I heard it on a random AM radio station and it seemed to work here.) The idea of getting other people to do what we want … well, that sounds kinda fancy, doesnt it? But trust me, controlling other people isnt fancy. Its awful, and you and I both know your grandmother would be ashamed of you if she knew you were doing this. Beneath the surface, grandiose (how do you like them apples, editor?) plans to dominate the world are usually about something far less impressive. Often, its because we want something and were not willing to play nice to get it. We dont feel good about who we are, so, to get what we want, we have to knock someone else down. We dont feel powerful, so we find someone weaker to control. Thats what happened with Napoléon and Hitler. And take a look at Kim Jong Il from North Korea! That dude is 5?3?; talk about a complex! He just got extremely good at controlling people and started wearing platform shoes to appear more manly. (I must say that I understand his pain, being just 5?8? myself; I often refer to myself as a "man-boy.") But whether you are short or tall, taking advantage of those weaker than you is just plain wrong. Bottom line: The traditional quest for total world domination NEVER succeeds, it USUALLY stems from ugly motives, and ALWAYS, without a doubt, hurts other people. Its time to recognize that the quest for total world domination isnt all its cracked up to be. Its time to choose a new battle, set a new goal. Instead of trying to conquer a small country or even just conquering your own high school classroom, lets leave everyone else alone for a while and focus on something else, something that is actually doable! Heres the thing: Theres a bigger, more important challenge out there and weve all overlooked it. Any coward can try to control someone elses life, but it takes a hero to face the biggest challenge of them all: Dominating your own world. Turns out that all the villainous people throughout history arent just evil or crazy; ultimately, they were all cowards. They didnt have the guts to take on the challenge of dominating their own world, so instead they focused on playing dirty so they could control others. But controlling others is nothing compared to the challenge of dominating your own life. In fact, most people cant do it. They fold. They give up. They say theyre interested, but at the first sign of struggle, they bai Details ISBN0312641540 Author Josh Shipp Short Title TEENS GT WORLD DOMINATION Language English ISBN-10 0312641540 ISBN-13 9780312641542 Media Book Format Paperback Year 2010 Subtitle Advice on Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Awesomeness Place of Publication New York Country of Publication United States AU Release Date 2010-08-17 NZ Release Date 2010-08-17 US Release Date 2010-08-17 UK Release Date 2010-08-17 Publisher St Martins Press Publication Date 2010-08-17 Imprint St Martins Press DEWEY 646.700835 Audience Teenage / Young adult Pages 304 Audience Age 13-18 We've got this At The Nile, if you're looking for it, we've got it. With fast shipping, low prices, friendly service and well over a million items - you're bound to find what you want, at a price you'll love! TheNile_Item_ID:43652708;

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